I’m not good enough—The lies we think and believe

Perhaps you can relate to the constant urge I feel to be better than I am and the emptiness that follows. The pressing feelings of inadequacy started at a young age for me, as they do for others.

What started as an inability to fit into my sister’s hand-me-downs, grew into a pressure to fit into the crowd. I was an outsider with a desperate desire to be an insider. That stress grew as it seemed I could only make the bench on the varsity team. Come college, inadequacy dealt a crushing blow when I didn’t make the cut for the traveling music team.

Over and over and over again I came face-to-face with how ‘not enough’ I was. Each one of these experiences—and countless others between the lines—left a painful scar of rejection.

The feelings of, “Not quite good enough,” have never left; they just change as I pass through life stages. Now, I wipe back tears as I walk downstairs to an unclean kitchen after the third sleepless night in a row. I find myself hugging my children extra tightly as I apologize for overreacting and revealing my anger.

The same inadequacies are still there. They are still real. And they still hurt.

We put so much pressure on ourselves to perform that we lose sight of who we really are and what we should be doing.


God didn’t make a mistake when He placed us exactly where we are today. He hasn’t left us to suffer alone through our insufficiency. 2 Corinthians tells us that weakness only reveals His great strength. “My grace is SUFFICIENT for you. My POWER is made perfect in WEAKNESS.”

Friend, let us therefore boast more gladly in our weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon us!

When we are tempted to berate ourselves for our failures, let’s remember that our insufficiency does not define us. Christ’s death defines me. My identity is not in what I can and cannot accomplish. My identity is the daughter of the King.

Be confident in these truths and share them with others. Make that the cool thing to do. Don’t beat yourself up over little mistakes.

Am I discouraged over my sin and failures?
My God gives grace freely. Romans 3:24 “Justified freely by His grace”

Do I feel like I don’t match up to those around me?
Christ’s death defines me. My identity is the daughter of the King.

Show Scripture

  • 2 Corinthians 10:5
  • Ephesians 4:29
  • Psalm 139:14
  • 1 Corinthians 1:27-31
  • 2 Corinthians 12:9
  • 1 John 3:1

Show Links

The Pastor and Pathological Self-Criticism by Jonathan Parnell via The Gospel Coalition – https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/pastor-pathological-self-criticism/

Ending the Cycle of Self-criticism by Erin Davis via Lies Young Women Believe – https://liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/ending-the-cycle-of-self-criticism/

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